Blissfully Suffocated
You should climb down the staircases as stealthily as possible because you don’t want to get caught by your parents sleeping in the next room. But why are you sneaking? Is it because you got scolded for doing the forbidden and tonite you’ll bite into the same apple because it tastes better when sunshine isn’t touching the filthy ground you walk on. Do you think someone is waiting for you outside, among the bushes or on the crib? This is something no one can answer. Now your friends are too tired of hearing no again and again. They seem to hate you and those who provide for you just as much as you do. So, they get wasted at each other’s houses while you draw white lines on the broken park bench and look at it until it disappears right under your deceitful breath. Your friends are over the rainbow and you are in it. You think your actions are inconsequential but then you find your beloveds waiting heartedly at the doorstep for you. Your friends are hooking up with random chicks and shooting neon up their veins while you rot in your shell for eternity. You can blame everything that went wrong with you on your mom but you won’t because her intentions were never wrong and she did it out of care. Love is suffocating at times and you can’t see anything but at least she loves you enough to lock you inside the house because she can’t trust anyone outside, especially you. You’re the light of her life so you should stay close and not turn into smoke like all those sunny afternoons and moonlit nights. Stay who you are if not better. She’ll love you no matter what. And you can walk countless roads, hoping one of them will lead you home but they all got a dead end except for one. That one road led you to your dad’s car and you were left wondering why he never let you drive it. The window panes of your house were coming apart and so was your heart but you still muster up the courage to ask, only to hear “no” again and again. You’re a child filled with ingratitude and disgrace to your name. You never try as hard as your parents. You run away so now you are a bandit, wanted by nobody. You’re a saint with disfigured speech. You’re your parent’s child, you won’t stop until you turn to smoke.
