DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
Today the sun shined a little brighter than usual so it got really hot in the afternoon. Sweaters felt absolutely unbearable but I couldn’t take my cardigan off because I was wearing a weirdly printed t-shirt underneath it. But the overly shiny day got me thinking about the dull and depressing January days. When all I could see were the few shades of white dotted with a few of grey. Everything was still as if someone had stopped the time and I felt extremely sad. And now the trees are blossoming again and the sidewalk is marked with little twigs growing from the crevices. It’s warm. So all the time I felt hopeless during January, did it really matter?
Do the days you spent contemplating over the most useless stuff that just ended up making your head messier than it already was, really matter? Do the times when you were smashing your head into the wall crying over that one person who gave you undivided attention one time and never again and turned you into a dumbass romantic, really matter? Does the ink you wasted on all those tests you ended up failing and felt like killing yourself afterwards but instead you listened to Radiohead and tried to put yourself to sleep, really matter? Does the amount of ATP you spent pacing back and forth at 3 damn AM in your room in an attempt to think straight about what you could’ve done differently if you had known then what you know now, really matter? Do the loud laughs you had when you were drunk out of your senses that made everyone around you oh so uncomfortable, really matter?
Now that I have spilled my brains on Microsoft Word about how it is wise to not care and live in the moment and make the most out of it, I wonder if it really does matter.
originally posted on beansight